Revelation of Kennedy Attack
on Cuba Sways Dems’ War Vote

In the wake of the historic vote giving President Bush unprecedented power to wage pre-emptive war on Iraq, leading Democrats confirmed that the Bush Administration’s stunning revelation that President Kennedy had conducted a pre-emptive strike on Cuba at the height of the missile crisis was a key factor in cementing their support for the war vote.

Dispute over the legacy of President Kennedy, an icon of liberal Democrats, had emerged as a major rhetorical point in the war debate after George W. Bush claimed Kennedy’s actions during the 1962 missile crisis as a precedent for his forward policy of military confrontation and regime change against Iraq.

Democrats who had cited Kennedy’s coordinated use of deterrence, negotiation, and de-escalation to resolve the Cuban missile crisis in America’s favor were dumbfounded by the release of classified files and satellite photos showing that the Kennedy administration was compelled to end the stand-off by a nuclear strike on Havana and the missile sites.

Just before the vote, a Democratic delegation led by Senator Edward Kennedy and including New York Senator Hillary Clinton was flown to Havana to view the historic battleground first-hand. The delegation was outfitted with lead-lined suits to protect them against the radiation still issuing from the ruins of the Cuban capital.

“Amazing devastation” commented Senator Kennedy, who marvelled that the twisted metal in the Presidential Palace was still hot to the touch. “It’s as if it happened yesterday, instead of 40 years ago.” Admitting that he “had no idea” that his brother had made the fateful decision to protect the nation with a pre-emptive nuclear strike, the Massachusetts Senator said, “This certainly cuts the ground out from under the peace party in Congress”.

Speaking to reporters after the vote, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld stressed, “America has always had a pre-emptive policy. Now we’re just going to be up-front about it.” He expressed regret that popular anxiety over a apocalyptic nuclear exchange during the Cold War had compelled the United States to maintain an “expensive and unfortunate charade” for almost half a century that the crisis had been resolved through negotiation and Castro was still in power.

Asked if any further revelations were contained in Pentagon archives, Rumsfeld smiled broadly and replied, “Ask me next week if we won the Vietnam War.”