US Government Announces
Surrender in War on Terrorism
In a subdued joint session of Congress, Articles of Surrender to the “forces of terror known and unknown” passed by voice vote. President Bush is expected to sign the measure tomorrow in a White House ceremony.
Analysts expressed amazement at the sudden demise of the scrappy superpower that until today had fully committed its military, economic, and political might against the forces of evil and barbarism.
America’s political, military and industrial leaders announced they stood ready to deliver access to the country’s government institutions and defense and manufacturing facilities to the victors if and when they choose to appear.
At press time it was not clear what individuals or organizations would step forward to embody the forces of Terror and assume control of the rich and populous ex-US territory. Sources reported that the United Nations is being pressed to assume temporary trusteeship over the defeated nation in order to ensure an orderly transition.
Americans across the country grappled with the implications of the collapse of the 225-year old republic. Long lines formed at banks in towns and cities as people rushed to exchange their US dollar accounts into stable European currencies.
Repatriation and right of return suddenly emerged as the most pressing issues for 250 million inhabitants of a vanquished state. The United Kingdom, America’s staunchest ally in the War on Terror, immediately announced it would offer right of return to “all citizens of the ex-USA of undiluted Anglo-Saxon extraction currently residing within the boundaries of the former 13 colonies”.
Response from other countries around the world was lukewarm, and it is expected that a vast majority of Americans must learn to live as a conquered people under an occupying power. Canada and Mexico immediately announced closures of the borders with the ex-USA against an expected flood of refugees.
