Rather Disappointed with Terror War Role

CBS anchor Dan Rather, who famously described President George W. Bush as his “commander-in-chief” today went public with his dissatisfaction with his assignments in the War on Terror.

“I feel like I’ve been on KP duty peeling potatoes for the last six months” complained Rather in an exclusive interview with this paper. “I went on Letterman and said ‘Tell me where to go and I’ll go’ and still the call hasn’t come”.

Rather reflected on unique credibility and national influence he enjoys as America’s pre-eminent news anchor. “I could be manipulating public opinion and spreading disinformation big time”, the distinguished newscaster observed, “but the administration has chosen to take its business elsewhere”.

In particular, Rather expressed dismay at Washington’s efforts to stampede America into a war with Iraq “through less prestigious and less capable news outlets”. He declared, “For a rank slice of political and military adventurism that flies in the face of common sense and international opinion, you don’t rely on fluff-headed newsboys and second-rate pundits to bamboozle the public.”